Live Every Week Like It's Shark Week » California Football

LOLschedule – Cal Football

cgb2010 — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 06:13:37 +0000

Using the ROFLbot.

Stephen A. Smith previews the Cal Football season

cgb2010 — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 06:24:15 +0000

Inspired by a series of articles at Hey Jenny Slater the first of how many ever I feel like posting up.

Quite Frankly, the last 8 games of the California football season was an OUTRAGE of preposterous proportions. There’s a quarterback controversy that’s driven fans so nuts that I seem rational by comparison. Add that to the tree sitters making this school look more RIDICULOUS than Sasha Vujacic.

THIS.

IS.

UN.

ECK.

SEPT.

UH.

BLE.

And ESPN, I need more airtime. Give me Lou Holtz’s job, I’ll give some strange-ass, unnecessary, ridiculous, sensational, motivational speeches. I can be the best pep talk giver since SLAVA MED-VUH-DEN-KO.

NATE LONGSHORE! What’s this about an ankle and a pectoral injury? There is no excuse for losing to a bunch of trees on a farm! Trees can’t even move! Have you ever hear Brook Lopez talk? And what the hell is a Tavita? MY GOODNESS. But I’ve seen what you can do son. You represent FREEDOM and OPPORTUNITY. You could be the best quarterback since JOE ROTHVADENKO. 500 Touchdowns is completely within reason. Go lead that team to Rose Bowl glory, with SUPERB and SENSATIONAL play. And Quite Frankly, anyone who says you can’t is perpetrating an injustice of ridiculous proportions against you.

JAHVID BEST QUITE FRANKLY YOUR SPEED IS PREPOSTEROUS. I haven’t seen anyone run that fast since BARRY SANDUHS. And you need to channel that speed. You need to get to the end zone faster than Quite Frankly got canceled. Faster than ESPN is taking my responsibilities away. Faster than I ate this bag of CHEEZ DOODLES RIGHT HERE.

BRYAN ANGER I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE VERY ANGRY. I’m not sure what your name has to do with your temper, but I can only assume that it will make you a STUPENDOUS punter. Quite Frankly, you could be the best punter since SLAVA MED-VUH-DEN-KO. It doesn’t matter that Slava did not punt, you WILL be the best punter since him.

CALIFORNIA DO NOT BE ALARMED. Coach Tedford will lead you to the promised land. You are UNDERRATED. You are UNDERAPPRECIATED. You are UNINTIMIDATED. And UNABATED to the quarterback. You will be as TENACIOUS as I will in getting back to the stage of the NBA draft. Quite Frankly, if California does not win the PAC-10, it will be the BIGGEST OUTRAGE OF ALL TIME.

EDSBS Inspired – 31 Days

cgb2010 — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 15:36:28 +0000

Victory belongs to those that believe in it the most and believe in it the longest. – Pearl Harbor (film)

EDSBS Inspired – 33 Days

cgb2010 — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 06:47:44 +0000

I’m going to tell you this one more time with all the humility I can summon up…You will not beat me. – Denny Crane

EDSBS Inspired – 34 Days

cgb2010 — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 07:12:06 +0000

Abby: Jed, what are you thinking about?
Jed: Tomorrow. – The West Wing

EDSBS Inspired – 35 Days

cgb2010 — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 08:50:52 +0000

“The thrill of victory, and the agony of my feet.” – Daggett Beaver

EDSBS Inspired – 36 Days

cgb2010 — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 05:33:42 +0000

“So here’s some advice I wish I got when I was your age: Live every week like it’s Shark Week.” -Tracy Jordan

EDSBS Inspired – 40 Days

cgb2010 — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 06:35:02 +0000

“A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.” – Vince Lombardi

EDSBS Inspired: 41 Days

cgb2010 — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 17:37:44 +0000

“You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four”. – Dan Birdwell

Picture from Idiots Write About Sports

EDSBS Inspired: 42 Days

cgb2010 — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 05:29:45 +0000

“Football is a game played with arms, legs, and shoulders, but mostly from the neck up”. -Knute Rockne

Picture from Excuse Me For My Voice